Ways to Against Sexual Abuse


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Assalammu'alaykum, 

Nowadays, we have heard so many bad news about sexual abuse to women and girls around the world. It's make me very upset. Most of the victims are young and very little girls which have to go through to their entire life with sadness and embarrassment. Psychologically, they were felt like trash and very bad person and having hard time to enjoy their own life as before. The most important things in their life was tragically stolen and it will never come back until the end of the world. Unfortunately, the society always believe that "the girl who was victim also the sinner" and the guy who was the criminal never judge as the bad one and sentenced by the law.  

Honestly, I had experienced something like sexual harassment trial. It was happened years ago when I love to traveled to my hometown with night bus. It was not kind of rape (It's to scary and I can't imagine something like that happen to me!), but very annoyed and make so scared. So, if you feel something like when a stranger come to you or try to sit near you (definitely a man) and he tried to touched your body or even your skin without your approval: it is sexual harassment for sure! So you have to secure yourself and definitely not became a victim! You have never give that kind of guy an opportunity to abuse you or even make you look like a weak girl. 

So, in order to educate myself and my blog reader, I write this article. I want to contribute to every effort that the sexual harassment's defender in the world have been doing to protecting girls and young women from sexual assault. So, I summarize them to some ways that we have to know about how to against sexual abuse. 

1. Educate Yourself: everyone have to improve their awareness about "what is sexual abuse means?" and break the myth that the sexual violence done by a stranger. The fact shows that nearly 90% sexual assault criminal was the close one such as family member, friend, boyfriend and even someone we know so well. For example, in US a data shows that 1 of 10 child sexually abused by the age of 18 by someone they know. So, be careful and don't forget to share your knowledge about this issue with your family, friend, colleague and as much as women you can meet and talk with. 

2. Don't Fun Sexism: have you ever laugh when your friend told you a story about sexual abuse, prostitute girl or even a rape cases? make sure that you never make the other women misfortune as joke! sexual abuse and rape aren't funny! it was high crime that have to handle by state law and social sanction. If you find someone make a joke to thing like that, try to explain to them that the real issue is dramatically impacts to the people's lives. And, don't try to buy and consume things like magazine, newspaper, movies or website that portray women or men in sexually degrading ways. 

3. Minimize the Opportunity: we have to create our own save situation and never isolated from people, because more than 80% of sexual abuse cases occur in isolated, one-on-one situations. Especially that happens to kids. Even when we are during traveling, alone our with our group, we have to recognize the possibility of sexual assault. We can't trust people easy and have to aware for ourselves and for other girls. We also have to recognize the sign from people behavior that physically shows the symptom like redness, rashes/swelling in the genital area, urinary tract infections and other. Or bu emotional signal such as depression, unexplained anger and rebellion. In short, don't create an opportunity to make people sexually abused you. 


4. Volunteering your time: for this issue silent is the worst option. We have to support and help men and women who working to end sexual harassment in some ways like volunteering, donating money, or lobbying the government to make good policy regarding the issue. And challenges any images of violence against women in advertising, pornography, professional wrestling, and other forms of media. And do not participate in sexist behavior by objectifying or stereotyping women. 

5. Selective Dating: yeah, dating is not only about when a man and woman making a relationship based on love. We have to aware and avoid men who shows the characteristic of potential rapist. These include men who espouse violence, who demean and control women, and who are obsessed with guns, drugs and alcohol. Make sure your relationship is healthy and both of you can talk freely about the issue to understand each other view about sexual abuse between lover. Just be a good girl and dating smart and be aware with every sign from your partner because sometime the unlucky things can happen without notice.

6. Support and Speak up for Survivors: we have to support the victim of sexual abuse to get the fair threat from the society and the state law. We have to help them arise from their sorrow and shame to be a strong one, to explained to the society that the victim is not the sinner. Like other criminal case, the rapist is the criminal and the one have to felt sorrow and shame in their entire life. This is the great deal about the issue. 

7. Report to an Authority: we have to making a report of our discovery immediately to an authority in our area related the sexual abuse. We might have such suspicion of sexual abuse means you've seen signs in a kid or a young girl, or you've witnessed boundary violations by adults or other youth toward them. We can report the case to an authority or agency that handle report of abuse. React responsibility and do not breaking the rules that embarrassed the victim. 

8. Avoid Child Marriage: in some sick society men can control their own marriage will with very young girls. And I feel very sorry that so many stupid men in Islamic society used to name of Aisha (one of the Prophet Muhammad's wives) to marry a little girl and take the greedy idea a sunnah (something like recommended). This crazy sexual abuse practice under marriage happened in poor and uneducated society who make "Islam" as scapegoat without knowing the fact that Aisha married Muhammad at 22 or 24 years old (not 9 years old). So, we have to help the girls who came from poor and uneducated family to secure themselves from child marriage. There are some ways to avoid this abuse such as educate and empower girls and their parents to support their young girl to improve their knowledge and skill and give them opportunity to enjoy their youth. Also, we help to mobilize religious leader and community elders to avoid this marriage, and pressure the local government to produce a policy to against this child marriage. And the important thing is to provide relevant economic support to help the family raise their girls well and never sold them as payment of their debt. An you can learn the detail ways here in The Pixel Project.

Just be aware with our surrounding and never silent for this issue!

Depok, 17 October 2015

Wijatnika Ika

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